Lara Percival

Author: Mama Bug

  • I’ve Stopped Giving You Breast Milk – Don’t Judge Me

    Hey Lara Bug,

    Monday I made the difficult decision to stop expressing breast milk for you.

    Unfortunately, you and I never really managed the whole breastfeeding thing. You wouldn’t latch without crying after a couple of sucks. I would then feel useless because you wouldn’t latch on. It was identified at birth that you had a tongue-tie, which meant that stringy bit under your tongue wasn’t long enough to allow you to latch on properley, but even after you had that cut, things were no better. It was found that you were a lazy feeder. As we were used to feeding from the bottle, you had become accustomed to getting your milk straight away, where as with me, you had to wait a few seconds for my milk to come through – you didn’t like it.

    We made the decision to pump my breastmilk into bottles and feed you that way. As the weeks went on, the amount I expressed got less and less. I tried allsorts of things to increase my production. Nothing helped.

    At our 6 week check, I spoke to the Doctor regarding stopping, and he said it wasn’t recommended, and I was potentially causing harm to your immunity. After chatting with your Daddy, I decided to stop, mainly due to the stress of expressing, and how it was affecting me physically and mentally.

    Love you loads,
    Mummy x

  • 2 Months & 16 Minutes Old

    2 Months & 16 Minutes Old

    Hey Lara Bug,

    We can’t believe 2 months has passed already. Here you are being given your breakfast by Daddy while Mummy looks on smiling and stroking your hair.

    Today we are going to a 50s festival called Atomic. We’ve had the tickets booked since after Christmas, so we are excited about going. Seeing the trucks, the cars, the people dressed in 50s gear dancing. The drag racing. The market stalls. It’s going to be a great day.

    We have a little 50s style dress for you to wear. Photos to come later on.

    We love you little Lara Bug!

    Mummy x

  • Struggling

    Struggling

    Hey Lara Bug,

    I’ve has been struggling this week. Normally after you go back to sleep I can go back to sleep to. But as I’m up at 6:30am each weekday morning for work, I can’t. I’m only getting 4 – 5 hours sleep a night and then doing a full day at work. Mummy and Daddy are very tired.

    I broke down and started crying whilst I expressing milk for your breakfast. I was struggling to get milk and just felt useless. After I had finished, your Daddy told me to go back to sleep. When my alarm work up, I found your Daddy had been busy, busy writing notes and hiding them around the house for me to find. I’ve brought a couple of them to work with me to keep my going during the day.

    Your Daddy is an amazing person. I am proud to call him my husband. He’s patient, kind, loving, understanding, gorgeous and a great Daddy to you. He just wants the best for us both.

    We both love you very much, but need you to be patient with us whilst we figure out why you’re crying and try and make you happy.

    Mummy x

  • Cuteness!

    Cuteness!

    Hey Lara Bug,

    It was your first day with Lyndsey the Childminder today. Daddy had the difficult job of dropping you off. He said you gave him that look as he was leaving which made his heart hurt.

    I called in the afternoon to ask how you were getting on, and she said you’d been to the park. You even had your lunch there. Very spoiled.

    Lyndsey popped a couple of photos of you onto the app she uses to communicate with us with your progress, photos, what you’ve been up to and what nappies you’ve had changed. Have to share this VERY cute one with your tongue out and everything!

    Keep being cute lil bug.

    Mummy x

  • Back To Work

    Hey Lara Bug,

    Tomorrow is my first day back at work since I left mid June for maternity leave. Hard to grasp that I’ve been off work for 2 months.

    What a mad 8 weeks it’s been, being blessed with you and getting married to your Daddy. It’s been an amazing and emotional time.

    I am really nervous about going back, but soothed by the knowledge that your Daddy is looking after you tomorrow. Tuesday is your first day with your childminder Lyndsey, who promises faithfully to look after you while your Daddy and I are at work. Making sure you’re fed, happy and developing well.

    If I could if stayed of maternity longer to be with you I would have done. The guilt of leaving you with a stranger a whilst you are still a young is tearing me apart. We even toyed with the idea of your Daddy giving up work to look after you. But we couldn’t afford it. Keeping you fed, clothed and a roof over your head was more important.

    We love you so much, and hope we don’t miss too many of your firsts whilst we are apart from you.

    Mummy x

  • Last Day Of Maternity

    Last Day Of Maternity

    Hey Lara Bug,

    Today is officially my last day on maternity. I have one more week off with you before I go back to work. Luckily Daddy is off as well as it’s wedding and honeymoon, and we get to spend it as a family. Unfortunately Nismo is going to have to stay home, but she is being well looked after, and we will miss her very much.

    I am nervous about going back to work. Leaving you with a stranger while Mummy and Daddy are working hard to make sure we can buy you the things we need to keep you all happy, and in our home all safe and warm.

    We are excited about having your first holiday with you. Seeing lots of cool places, getting you down on the beach and into the sea.

    All this said, I have not been apart from you for more than an hour since you were born almost 6 weeks ago, so being away from you for 8 hours is going to be really tough, and I’m going to miss you so much. I’m glad that on my first day back your Daddy will be looking after to you. It will be his first time looking after you alone all day. I’m sure you two will have some awesome Daddy / Daughter time together.

    Much love,

    Mummy x

  • Hard Times

    Hey Lara Bug,

    We have had a couple of hard days. Lots of crying. Lots of explosive nappies. Lots of being sick everywhere.

    Being alone with you is awesome, but sometimes Mummy needs a break from the screaming. Yesterday I tried a dummy on you and it soothed you. I felt guilty as I feel like a failed you. But I don’t want you being upset and getting you in a state.

    Also, you have been struggling to sleep in your basket during the day. You will only fall asleep on me, which is lovely as I love your cuddles and your smell, but I get backache and get uncomfortable.

    I love you so much.

    Mummy x

  • Standard Day

    Hey Lara Bug,

    Wanted to give you an insight of what a standard day is like after your Daddy leaves for work. Your general state of being mostly breaks down to these percentages:

    40% Crying / 40% Feeding / 20% Sleeping

    Where as I spent my time doing one of the following:

    • Feeding you
    • Changing your nappy and clothes
    • Soothing you between feeds
    • Making you a bottle
    • Cleaning bottles ready for next feed
    • Expressing milk for your next feed
    • Emptying and reloading the dishwasher
    • Emptying and reloading the washing machine
    • Dusting
    • Feeding / Stroking / Grooming the cat
    • Crying on the back step because I can’t get you to stop crying
    • Squeezing in breakfast or lunch for myself
    • Squeezing in getting dressed myself
    • Taking delivery of the food shopping whilst rushing the food back into the cupboards before you start crying again
    • Planning a wedding

    I love you loads, but you make the day a challenge. You have no real feeding pattern as we just feed you when you ask for it, which is most of the time when you are awake. They call it responsive feeding.

    I look forward to your Daddy getting home, as I miss his hugs, kisses and company, but he also takes over whilst I can get a bath or shower. I don’t like leaving you alone where I can’t get to you quickly and soothe you when your crying.

    Although is sounds cruel, when I know is you’ve been fed, nappy changed, cuddled and burped, I leave you to cry a little bit as sometimes you cry because you’re tired, and you then cry yourself to sleep. I hate doing it, but it’s best for you. Mummy still loves you.

    Lots of love,

    Mummy x

  • Four Weeks Old

    Four Weeks Old

    Hey Lara Bug,

    How times flies! Four weeks has gone by so fast, and you are starting to get big. I tried to put you in a baby grow this morning and it was a little too small for you. Crazy! You are still too small for your 3 – 6 month clothes, but you are drinking loads of milk.

    IMG_1035

    Your Mummy and Daddy are getting married two weeks today. Your Daddy asked me to marry him Christmas Day 2016, which seems like such a long time ago. You were just a twinkle in your Daddy’s eye.

    We are looking forward to you being there with us when we say our vows to each other.

    Lots of love,
    Mummy x

  • Lara Loves Snuggles

    Lara Loves Snuggles

    Hey Lara Bug,

    You’re almost a month old and we feel like we know you so well now. Your Daddy and I are in a routine with you with your feeding. You wake us up, I change your nappy while your Daddy gets your milk and my breast pump sorted. Daddy feeds you while I express milk for you. Daddy puts the bottles and the pump back in the sanitiser and I cuddle you and get the last of your burps out of you, and sooth so you go back to sleep again.

    We love you so much, and can’t imagine our lives without you in it.

    I have been enjoying my maternity leave looking after you. There are days where I have felt I am not doing it right or felt useless. But after a chat with your Daddy, I always feel much better.

    Quite often you’ll cry just because you want a cuddle, and I am more than happy to oblige.

    You and I will sit in front of Homes Under The Hammer quite happily snuggling. But then Mummy will need a drink or the loo and have to put you back in your Moses basket. You keep me warm and you love to snuggle up under my chin.

    Keep on being cute my little bug.

    Lots of love,

    Mummy x